Crosses To Bear
by A.D. Williams
Summary: Yugi has a huge problem on his shoulders and it’s not his over-sized hair. After his grandpa leaves on an abrupt vacation, Yugi seeks out the solace of his friends for comfort. But instead he’s pulled into their problems as well! What’s a duelist to do?
1. Home Alone 4: The Moto Story

Kunnichiwa! I hope I spelled that right…Anywho, there's just a few things I wanted to put here before you read the story. First off, I was inspired to do a Yu-Gi-Oh! story from Little Kuriboh's YGO abridged series on Youtube…(I'm not here to advertise, but if you like comedy and Yu-Gi-Oh, go check the guy out!). I'm well aware that I'm not nearly as funny as he is, but I've always liked doing comedy, which is kind of how this came about. Secondly, I've portrayed the characters out of character. _All of them! _So, if you're looking for the overly serious Kaiba, he's gone. Kind of…hell, I haven't written him into the story yet, so I'm not fully sure how his character will be. But just be prepared! And lastly, I do have one thing to admit. I haven't watched nearly all of the show…sorry, all the duels turn me off of it a bit. As LK himself said, there does need to be a bit less duels and more character development in the show. So, if I don't mention a lot of characters or scenes from the show, do forgive me. Though this is my interpretation of YGO, so there's not going to be a lot of that anyways!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the YGO characters or the monsters, yada yada yada…you know, having to do a disclaimer with these stories makes me wonder why when an abridged version of a show is started, some websites delete them, but fanfiction is perfectly okay? I don't see where a story has more leeway than a show, but whatever…as long as mine aren't deleted!

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Home Alone (4): The Moto Story

Yugi had been living with his grandfather for the past nine months. His parents, like his grandfather himself, were explorers and were currently on an expedition to find the sunken ship _Titanic…_and refused to hear a word of contradiction from anyone who said that it was already found. Yugi had pleaded with them to see reason and begged them to go to the museum where the remains were now on display, all to no avail.

"Now Yugi, you're too young to know about such things," his father said to him.

"You always say that!" Yugi complained. "You said the same thing when I asked you what a condom was; you told me it was one of those balloons used to make animals like at the circus! As if I was dumb enough to believe that…okay, so maybe for about a year I did, but I was fourteen! Look, it's been proven, the _Titanic _has already been found! Do I have to start listing the names of the scientists who found it?!"

"Oh Yugi, honey," his mother soothed, "It's okay. We'll just be gone for about a month and then we'll be back in time for you to start the new school year. We'll even do some back to school clothes shopping and get those new skateboarder jeans that make your butt look cute. Now, give your mother some sugar on the cheek."

Yugi's face had turned crimson, but he sighed and against his adolescent wishes, he kissed his mother on the cheek. They waved good-bye to him as he and his grandfather waved back to them in front of the game shop. That was the last he saw of them.

They sent postcards to Yugi on Christmas and his birthday…and in each one, the postcard's location were farther away from each other…he could have sworn the _Titanic _went down in the Atlantic Ocean. So why did his card from last year's Christmas look like it was taken on the Las Vegas strip? And why was the one from this year's birthday a picture of an ancient Roman coliseum?

"Face it Yugi, your parents went on vacation and didn't take you with them," Solomon Moto told a heartbroken Yugi at breakfast that morning.

"But, why?" Yugi sniffed.

"Hell if I know, but it seems to me like they're having a great time," his grandfather said as he held the newest postcard from them in his hand. It had been custom done and featured his father in shorts with the same wild hair that Yugi sported. His mother looked more like one of the island locals in the background of the photo and she wore a coconut bra with a grass skirt. Splashed across the front of the card in blue letters were "Aloha!!" If it hadn't been the newest picture of them, Yugi would have torn it.

"Well, guess I better get going then," Solomon said, disrupting Yugi's thoughts.

"Wait, where are you going?" the boy asked, alarm unwillingly filling his voice.

"Why, I got me an, um, "expedition" to work on as well," his grandfather said, head down as he laced up his boots.

"How come I can't go?" Yugi whined.

"It's top secret," Solomon said and threw a rucksack over his shoulder with ease.

"I won't tell anybody, grandpa! I mean, I'm your grandson. You can trust me, can't you?"

"Um…I, uh…"

Yugi widened his amethyst eyes to their fullest extent and made them watery in that childish way he'd perfected so well. His grandfather's stern look faltered.

"Yugi, we can't, uh…well see…"

Yugi widened his eyes just a fraction more and made them water so much that a tear spilled out from one.

"It's not that, I…damnit, you can't go!" his grandfather finally shouted.

Yugi's face deflated instantly and took on a frown. "How come?"

"It's top secret. If I told you, I'd have to kill you," the man said as he headed toward the door.

"Grandpa, it's me! Your grandson! Your _only _grandson! Loveable little Yugi! Who doesn't want me around?" Yugi beamed him a smile and held his hands up as though to say, "C'mon! You know I'm right!"

"I don't, that's who!" Solomon said. Yugi's happy bubble popped.

"Wh-what?!"

His grandfather had put a hand on the door knob, but stopped and turned halfway around to look at his grandson. "I watch over you day in and day out. It's been two years since I went on an expedition and the last one nearly cost me my life when the damn tomb we were excavating collapsed on us…though it earned me a Blue-Eyes White Dragon…damn Kaiba… I'm going on a trip for a little R&R. You're fifteen, you can handle yourself. Throw a party, get laid, I don't care. You and that Yami fellow have been getting a little buddy-buddy here lately, go party with him. Just as long as the place is still standing when I get back. I left some money on the counter, that should last you a while. I'll be back when I'm back. Bye Yugi!"

The man waved and with a snap of the door, he was gone.

Yugi immediately broke into sobs over his cold oatmeal. A flash from his Millennium Puzzle and Yami was standing at his side.

"There, there, Yugi. Everything will be fine. You still have me, eh? I'm fun right?"

Yugi's crying suddenly halted and he stared up at his friend.

"Right?"

Only a blink.

"Yami equals fun, huh?"

Another blink.

"Oh, you don't need to answer that. But we'll have loads of fun Yugi! Now, who wants to hear old Egyptian war stories? You know, I'm the pharaoh that refused to free the Hebrews."

A splutter and then a wave of half chewed oatmeal hit Yami's face. "Say what?!"

Yami only chuckled. "Ha, I knew I could turn that frown upside down! Now, after I get done puking up your ABC oatmeal from my mouth, we can go see what your other not-as-great-as-me friends are up to!"

He left the room, leaving Yugi to revel in appreciation of the pharaoh. _Wow, what a great—_but Yami's retching interrupted not only his ears but his thoughts as well, due to their mind link. _Ew, ew, gross, gross, gross, so not super-speacial-awsome._

Yami came back a moment later, wiping his mouth on a napkin. "Man, I'm a spirit and I can still vomit. Purgatory sucks!"

Yugi decided not to comment as they locked up the apartment and the shop below. He hoped his friends could cheer him up from this newest abandonment. No guardian at all…maybe this is what being an orphan felt like. He gave a mental shrug and decided to ask Kaiba the next time he saw him. Yami's deep scoff echoed through his head as he thought this. Something else Yugi decided to ignore.

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Alright, there's the first chapter, hope you liked it! No duh I hoped you liked it…anyways, I wanted to give credit to Lk, yeah I used Yugi's catchphrase from his videos…super special awsome. God, I hope I'm not coming off as some type of fanatic of his stuff, how embarrassing! I'm going to try to keep it more original in future chapters. Well, please review!


	2. Evolution: Yugi

As we watched Yu-Gi-Oh, we've seen our main character go through some changes. See how his first one came about!

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Evolution: Yugi

_We're chillin' out with the crew in the schoolyard. Finding trouble, never working too hard. Back at class they never taught us this. But some things you gotta learn to hit or miss. Tough times, hard climbs, we'll take 'em on together. Right now, let's go! Yu-Gi-Oh GX: Generation neXt! _

_"_What is that atrocious tune that you're singing, Yami?"Yugi asked the spirit with his own thoughts. Yami had only meant to be speaking to himself.

_Oh, just the theme song to the future of Duel Monsters,_ Yami said nonchalantly.

"Mind running that last part by me one more time?" Yugi said tersely.

_Generation neXt? _Yami offered.

_"_No, that _other_ part," Yugi hinted.

_Yu-Gi-Oh GX? What of it?_

"Who or what the hell is the next generation of Yu-Gi-Oh? It has my name all over it, am I involved?"

_Um, well, the main character has your first name as his last name and word on the street is, you make a brief appearance in the first episode, but other than that, no. Oh, and your face isn't shown either._

"Those mother--! How dare they just write me out of the script! It's not Yu-Gi-Oh without a Yugi! And last names don't count since my last name is Moto! Does this show continue with my offspring or something?"

_Actually, I don't think you have any children. Something about being a sixty year-old virgin…_

"Double mother—!" Yugi took a deep, calming breath. "Okay, that's all cool. I mean…wait, they make shows about Duel Monsters?! How come no one ever told me? Am I being filmed right now?!"

_You've been filmed from the moment you were born. It's kind of like that movie starring Jim Carry. _

"_Bruce Almighty?" _Yugi offered.

_No, not that one. _

"_Fun with Dick and Jane?" _

_No, this one's older than both of them. That movie where his whole life was filmed. _

"Oh, you're talking about _The Truman Show._ Good movie."

_Yes, well that's how it's kinda been for you. Word to the wise, I'd stop ordering the adult movies from pay per-view. The whole nation has been watching them with you. Although we surprisingly got high ratings from your curiosity peek at _Broke-Back Mountain_. But anyways…so, why are we going to Joey's house again?_

"For emotional comfort from my suddenly distressing and unbearable desertion of my family." Yugi recited as though he had memorized it.

_Uh-huh…Yugi, you do remember the last time you went over to Joey's, he gave you a male make-over? _

"Yeah, but that wasn't so bad,"Yugi shrugged.

_He put you on _Pimp My Friend, _Yami countered._

_"_Which wasn't so bad_." _Yugi reiterated.

_He had you looking like a retarded gang-banger! _Yami screamed._ The whole nation saw you! Do I need to do a flashback?_

"No, not really, I—"

_Here, maybe this will refresh your memory. _

As though waiting for a cue, a dream cloud opened up in Yugi's mind and a tape began rolling of that fateful day.

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It had been a day like today, a day where his grandfather nearly broke his back doing palates and Yugi and Yami had had another fall-out over what they would wear. In the end, Yugi wore his school uniform. On a Saturday morning. Yami was pissed.

Joey had opened his door civilly enough when he had come over and had even shown Yugi into the living room where he served him…well, nothing. That wasn't Joey's way.

They sat across from each other, Joey rubbing his hands nervously on his knees to keep the sweat off of them. "So, any plans for today?" he asked in a shaky voice.

"Um…maybe I'll stomp Kaiba into the ground again, duel him for those Blue-Eyes to take away any allusions of power that he may have. But other than that, no, I'm free for the day."

"Good, good…" Joey said distractedly. A second later, the front door received a loud knock. Joey jumped a foot in the air before running to answer it. Yugi could hear commotion from that direction, but figured he was chewing out the Bible sales people. If there was one thing that burned Joey up, it was anyone trying to convert his ways.

Minutes later, he returned and he wasn't alone. In tow, he now had a group of people and several cameramen. "Okay, this is him," he said, pointing at Yugi.

"Joey, what is this--?" Yugi tried to say, but was interrupted.

"Yo, Yuge, this your boy X-zibit and you're on _Pimp_ _My Friend_!" The leader of the group said.

Yugi shrank back into the couch, trying to make himself seem as inconspicuous as possible. Though with five cameras pointing at you with bright lights and microphones, the motion was wasted.

"Um, hi…" Yugi whimpered out. _Yami, help!! _He screamed to the spirit.

_Beep! You have reached Yami's voice mail. He is currently on vacation in some undisclosed location within the Puzzle, but if you would leave your name, number and a brief message, he will get back to you as soon as possible. _Another beep sounded for him to start talking, but he'd be damned if he started leaving messages inside his own head for someone that shouldn't have been there in the first place.

"Oh, okay," Yugi said aloud to the group of people. "I get it. This is like one of those reality prank shows, huh? Like _Punk'd? _Hey, maybe I'll get to meet Ashton Kutcher!"

"Um, no, this isn't like _Punk'd, _kid. This is _Pimp My Friend _and Joey has asked us to come pimp you out!" X-zibit said. "Now come with us down to our workshop and we'll have you fitted and ready to impress the ladies in no time."

"But my character is a fifteen year-old boy that's still four-foot eleven and who, as far as anyone knows, hasn't had a single girlfriend and due to the amount of time he spends with an ancient Egyptian pharaoh and their close bond, now has a questionable sexuality. All this is to say that I'm ready to do anything to prove that I'm straight to stop all the YamixYugi fanficts."

The silence in the room was deafening.

"Um, let's just go," Yugi said, leading the way out the door.

Outside, a stretch Hummer limo waited for them. He, Joey, X-zibit, and three of the camera people piled inside, the others following behind in another car.

"So Yugi, how would you describe your style?" the rapper asked him.

"Um, I guess you could call it—"

"Lame!" Yami said, appearing out of his Puzzle to sit beside Yugi. "God, please for the love of Ra, throw that fuckin' uniform away!"

"Whoa! Playa, you're kinda blinged out with that gold around your neck, huh?" X-zibit said, seemingly oblivious to the person that had just materialized from the Item.

"Well, this is my Millennium Puzzle and—"

"Man, I'm gonna make that a style!" X-zibit interrupted. "Flava Flav may have huge clocks around his neck, but you're gonna look fly like an Egyptian pharaoh with that pyramid!"

"Wait, huh?" Yugi questioned.

"Now don't worry, we'll make sure people can still recognize you. Like that funky hair you have. You're Japanese, how the hell did you get an afro?!"

"I've been asking myself the same thing for the longest," Yugi admitted.

The limo pulled up to a large building that was hard to describe. It looked like a warehouse with a hair salon built into it and a slight flair of a mansion perhaps. Whatever it was, it was overwhelming.

"Um, Mr. X-zibit?" Yugi asked timidly to the snickers of the others, even Yami. "Aren't you supposed to be hosting another show? Something about cars? When did you start pimping out people?"

"Man, there's a killing to be made from pimping people!" the man told him as they walked inside the building. "Most people wish that they could be someone different. That's where I come in. I make that dream a reality."

"Boy, doesn't that sound familiar? A little show called _Made _ring a bell?" Yugi muttered. "Also, doesn't this seem kinda like that TLC show, _What Not to Wear?_"

"Man, fuck Clinton and Stacy!" X-zibit shouted. "Nobody wanna wear that frou-frou golf club shit. There needed to be a show for the brotha's apparel, you feel me?"

"Physically or metaphorically speaking?" Yugi asked. The other man ignored the question. "So, um, I'm not a, um, well, you know. How come you're doing this for me?"

"Cause a dollar is a dollar no matter who it comes from. Now my job is done. Stand here and let my team take it away."

"But we're in Japan! I don't have dollars, I only have yen!" But X-zibit didn't seem to hear him and kept walking. Yugi stood ram-rod straight as he was left alone to another group of foreigners. _"Wait, Yami! You don't have to leave too!" _He yelled to the spirit.

_Uh, there's this thing I gotta do…Egyptian pharaoh stuff…see ya! _A flash from the Puzzle showed that he had returned to the labyrinth inside.

The people went to work on Yugi, making him try on outfit after outfit. The first one was a baby blue warm up suit, like what maybe the NBA team the Nuggets might wear. This was quickly discarded.

The second outfit was a pair of extremely baggy dark blue jeans, a striped shirt, a pair of Timberland boots and a cap placed on top of his pointy hair. Yugi tried to take a step in the heavy shoes and loose clothes and only succeeded in falling flat on his face.

After what had seemed like forever, they found something that seemed to suit the boy. In a large, brightly lit mirror, Yugi examined himself. For the most part, his attire had remained the same, though he now found himself sporting leather pants. On his feet were black silver studded boots and at his complaining, the people had let him keep the jacket to his school uniform. Except now the jacket kind of billowed…as though it had been starched to stay that way. Like Kaiba's clothes.

_Hm, not bad, not bad, _Yami commented. _But I think this would look better on someone with a higher stature. Someone like me. _

Without warning, they switched places with their spirits, Yugi being thrown into the world of his Puzzle while Yami surfaced into his host's body.

"Yes, it looks much better on me," Yami said in his deep voice, scaring the hell out of everyone watching. "Although, this jacket is still horrendous." He turned around and searched the clothes around them until he found a belt. He used it to fasten the jacket around his neck sort of like a cape.

Just then, Joey and the others returned. "Whoa, Yuge! They totally pimped you out!" his friend shouted, amazed at the transformation. "What'd they do, lipo on your face or somethin'? Where's all the baby fat that you usually have?"

"It's me, Joey," Yami stated in his deep voice.

"Oh, you! Well that explains everything. Kinda creepy how tiny little Yugi has a grown man inside of him…so, did they do lipo on him?"

_Tell Joey, I'm not fat, _Yugi complained.

"Joey, Yugi says that your momma is fat," Yami told the other boy.

"Nigh?" Joey said, puzzled.

"Yes, he says she's really, really fat," Yami said.

_What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to get us killed? _

"_Don't worry, he'll understand," _Yami told Yugi.

"Why don't you tell Yugi he can take his fat-ass chipmunk cheeks to hell!" Joey snarled.

"Yugi says your momma will get there first since her weight will pull her down faster."

"Alright, tell Yugi that if he doesn't want my size twelve foot up his ass, he'll shut his trap!" Joey was beyond caring that the others were watching him fight with a five-thousand year old spirit and a third person whom they couldn't see.

"Yugi says your momma needs to sew two size twelve outfits together to cover only half her body." Yami countered.

"Okay, that's it. Now I'm ticked!" Joey charged like a bull, his fist raised and ready to punch.

Just before the blow landed, Yami switched bodies with Yugi again, so it was Yugi's presence that felt the blow. It rocketed him across the room where he crashed into a clothes rack.

_"Great frickin' going, nimrod. Lovely how you insult his mother and then switch back to being a spirit just as his fist collides with my face. God, I love it when you do that."_

_See, told you he'd understand, _Yami said simply.

_"Oh, he understood alright. Understood that he had to kick my ass. Yami, you're grounded from my body." _

Yugi stood up slowly, making sure that Joey wasn't going to attack him again. "Joey, you know that was Yami speaking there. I didn't say any of that stuff. I've met your mom, she looks like an older version of Serenity. Except for more fuller…"

"Yeah Yuge, it's all good. But I had to hit your body, Yami doesn't have one. And now that you've said what you've just said, I'm putting a restraining order on you from being around both my sister and my mom. She's nearing forty, Yuge. That's sick!"

"Uh, can we get back to the matter at hand?" X-zibit asked them. He deftly lifted the Puzzle from around Yugi's neck and walked away with it. "I got an idea for this baby here. When I'm finished, it'll go harder than paint!"

"Wha--?" The phrase was lost to Yugi. And Joey. Even the cameramen didn't get it.

"It'll look cool," X-zibit shouted over his shoulder before disappearing through a door in the back of the building.

Yugi entertained himself by playing a TV game show with Joey. "List things you would find in a supermarket. You got thirty seconds. Go."

An hour later, after Joey had listed everything you would be more likely to find in Circuit City, the rapper returned with his beloved Millennium Item.

"Yo man, you got some serious voo-doo stuff going on with this thing," he said to Yugi as he gave him back the Puzzle. "As I held it, something kept yapping on about the heart of the cards or something. And what the hell is an Obelisk?"

"Um, don't worry about that." Yugi said with a nervous laugh. He wouldn't admit to anyone, but those minutes without Yami had been torturous. He hoped he would never have to be without his presence again.

_And this is why people think you are gay, _Yami told him. He had picked up on Yugi's thoughts.

"_You know you missed me too," _Yugi said plaintively.

Yami neither confirmed nor denied the statement.

"Okay Yugi, you're fully pimped out," X-zibit interrupted the mental conversation. "Especially with that iced out pyramid."

_Of course this only adds to the stereotype that rappers don't think they can look good unless they have some sort of chain or "iced" jewelry on their person, _Yami said sadly.

_Yami, has your spirit been sneaking off to anthropology seminars again? _Yugi asked him.

_Hey, the stuff is useful. _

At this, the flashback that Yami had been showing him ended. Yugi had been standing still in the same spot for over an hour outside of Joey's house.

"You know, at second thought, maybe I should just head over to Téa's instead," Yugi told the pharaoh. But just as he was about to turn around and walk away, the door opened and he was snatched inside by a hand. _Uh-oh, drama in the Wheeler house. _

Alright, there's chapter two for the books. Hope you liked it! Now hit that little button at the bottom and review!


	3. Serenity's Intervention

Alright, here's the third chapter! Do enjoy, all you little kiddies out there in Reality! I'ma stay here in Fantasy Land where I can forever play card games!

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Serenity's Intervention

Once inside the house, Yugi's back was slammed against the door, Joey's hands forcefully on his shoulders. "No Joey, not like this!" Yugi screamed, throwing his hands over his face.

"Yuge, ya gotta help me!" Joey pleaded.

"Huh? Help you with what?"

"I think ya better sit down for this one," Joey said, leading him into the living room. Yugi half wanted to remain standing in case he had to run due to another make-over crew waiting for him.

Once seated, Joey blabbed out his problems. "Serenity is dating Tristan!"

Yami, who was sitting next to Yugi, crossed his legs as he unwrapped a Starburst that he had picked from the candy dish on the coffee table. "Um-hm, Joseph. And how does that make you feel?"

"Sick!" Joey yelled. "I refuse to let this relationship go on! I mean, Serenity can do so much better than him!"

"Wow, this is as bad as when I went on _The Jerry Springer Show_," Yami said._ "_The episode was called 'My nephew is my baby's father'." I was the baby."

"Look Joey, it's not so bad," Yugi cut in. "I mean, you know Tristan. You know how he is. What's to fear?"

"Yugi, don't you see? That's just it! I _do _know Tristan! I know that he's a teenage guy who only wants one thing! And he ain't gettin' it from _my _sis!"

"Oh, now you're just being paranoid. Not every teenage guy only thinks about…that one thing." Yugi muttered.

"Oh, we know _you _don't!" Yami scoffed.

"One more gay joke, Yami, and I'm casting you into the Shadow Realm forever."

"It was actually a virgin joke, but whatever."

"Listen guys, I thank ya for tryin' to cheer me up," Joey sighed. "But the fact of the matter is, I'm just not comfortable with Serenity datin' anybody." Joey slumped in his seat, looking completely down-trodden.

"Hey, I know what will cheer you up!" Yugi said brightly.

"If it's a duel, then I pass," Joey grumbled.

"No, it's not a duel. Dungeon Dice Monsters!"

"What da fuck?! That's even worse!"

"Bet you won't say that to Duke's face," Yami snickered quietly.

"Well, I don't believe you should be so concerned with your sister, Joey," Yugi told his friend. "I'm sure she's a smart girl and if things are looking a little choppy, she'll pull out."

Just then, the front door opened as Serenity came in. "I had a great time," she was giggling to somebody on the other side of the threshold.

"Aw, don't worry about it. I don't mind spending time with a lovely lady like yourself," A male voice said.

Joey's eyes shot open wide. He dashed off the couch and into the foyer where his sister was saying goodbye to someone. He pushed her aside to see—

"Kaiba! What the hell is going on?!"

"Well Joey, in case you're too stupid to figure it out, I'm dating your sister." The other boy sneered.

"But…but…Serenity, I thought you were dating Tristan?" Joey said weakly.

The girl gave a disdainful sniff. "I was, but he's more interested in Mai Valentine. Damn hussy."

"Hey, change that h in hussy to a p and you get—" Yami said, but Yugi interrupted.

"Kaiba, when did you and Serenity start dating?"

Kaiba narrowed his eyes in boredom. "Oh, you're here. But of course. And also of course you'd bring along that damn spirit…who does all your duels for you…hey, I want a rematch! You're not the rightful Yu-Gi-Oh!"

"That's what she said in bed last night," Yami smirked. His voice took on a high-pitched feminine tone. "Yugi! Oh!"

As Yugi and Serenity stared at Yami, Joey went back to battling with Kaiba. "I don't see what Serenity sees in you! You're a total pompous jerk! I know my sis can do better than you! If it's a night out at a restaurant she wanted, she coulda asked me and I woulda paid for it!"

"Screw your money, I have more!" Kaiba shouted.

Joey was silenced. Yugi whispered, "Burned."

"Man, this is worse than my Power Ranger audition." Yami said. "They said I didn't get the part because I wasn't corny enough."

"Well, I have better things to do than stand around talking to the likes of _you,_" Kaiba said, his eyes traveling around to include the other males. "_Au revoir_, Serenity."

As he climbed back into his limo, Mokuba's silhouette could be seen. "Big brother, what's the sense of taking me along if I have to stay in the car the whole time?" He whined.

"To take notes without your presence being over-bearing," Kaiba said, closing the door. The vehicle sped off.

Joey closed the door and rounded on his sister. "How could you?! Why him? Seto Kaiba!"

"Are you going to make a full sentence or what?" Serenity huffed, but didn't wait for an answer. She pushed past him and started up the stairs. Joey followed and like a news crew, so did Yami and Yugi.

"I forbid you to see him!" Joey shouted.

"You can't boss me!" Serenity shouted back. "I love Kaiba and he loves me!"

All three boys stopped cold. Then Yami shouted, "What a twist!"

"Kaiba makes me happy," Serenity went on. "When I'm with him, it's like I'm somebody else."

"What kind of drugs has he been feedin' you?" Joey asked with a pained face.

"Ecstasy and Prozac mostly, sometimes laced with a little LSD," Serenity answered seriously.

"Need to get my hands on some of that," Yami whispered to Yugi. "But also…what a twist!"

Yugi cut in between the sibling rivalry. "Joey, let Serenity date him. I hate the guy too, he dueled my grandfather into submission…and if that doesn't sound awkward then I don't know what does. But Serenity has a clean record with the guy. We can't push her to hate him because we hate him."

"That's like that time when I—" Yami began, but his alter ego cut him short.

"Yami, this isn't _Family Guy _or _Robot Chicken. _Yeah, 'What a twist!' isn't your phrase to use." Yugi said.

"You all are a bunch of idiots," Serenity muttered and locked the door to her bedroom.

As the others made their way back downstairs, Joey said, "When did she become so rebellious?"

"Hm, probably between the time after her surgery and before she dated Tristan," Yugi supplied helpfully. "It's a girl fling thing. She'll open her eyes and see that Kaiba's a total bastard eventually. Let's just hope it's before she gets knocked-up."

"Oh no! I don't think Serenity knows anything about using protection!" Joey wailed, turning to run back up the stairs.

"Just give her the money to get some," Yugi said with heated cheeks.

"I mean a gun!" Joey yelled back as he vanished from sight.

"Okay, I think we're done here," Yami said and headed for the door. Yugi followed him.

On the street, Yugi slapped his forehead. "Damn, in trying to help Joey with Serenity, I forgot to tell him about Grandpa leaving me!"

Yami hit Yugi's forehead hard with his palm as well. "You should've had a V8!"

"Ow! What the hell would that have solved?!" Yugi growled.

Yami shrugged. "I dunno. But it seemed the appropriate thing to say. Look, I say that if you want counseling, look no farther than your Millennium Puzzle."

"I want helpful counseling," Yugi said in an irritated voice, rubbing his sore head.

"Oh. Well if that's the case, then perhaps you should seek out Bakura. British people are always level-headed."

"That's true," Yugi said, and thus they set off for Bakura's house.

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Alrighty then. What will Bakura's issues be? Stay tuned to find out! Now press that button under this and tell me what you thought...not that it matters...I'm psychic so I already know what you'll say. But go ahead, amuse yourselves into thinking that you can fool me. Okay, now I'm starting to sound weird...!


	4. Double Mint Twins

Okay, this is my last pre-writen chapter that I'm uploading...yeah, I had done this story not too long ago, but had deleted it due to a huge uploading mistake that I felt ruined everything. Not to mention that until here recently, it was titled Untitled...damnit Simple Plan...so anyways, here it is. Let's see what's Bakura's issues, shall we?

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Double-Mint Twins

Yugi and Yami found Bakura's house on the edge of town near the seashore. On one side of the structure, it looked normal. The house had been painted blue and the left side windows all had flower boxes under them. Yet the right side of the house looked shabbier. The paint was peeling, the gutters looked as though they hadn't been cleaned in years, and the lawn grew over two feet high. It was as though a schizophrenic gardener had done the work. Yami looked at Yugi and nudged him forward. "You knock," he told him.

"Why me?" Yugi complained, crossing his arms.

"Because he's your friend," Yami said.

"But you suggested we go to him," Yugi argued.

"That's because he's _your _friend. I don't have any friends. Everyone we come across is your buddy, not mine."

"You mean to tell me that I've had the power to make friends all along? I never needed your help?"

"Yes, yes, and someday I'll duel you to make sure you can really stand on your own two feet, but for now you need to knock on that door. Hurry up and get this over with. This place reeks of a lame horror movie setting."

Yugi walked up to the brass knocker. It was shaped like Bakura's Millennium Item ring. As he knocked, he could hear someone yelling in pain on the other side.

"Okay, we've knocked now let's go," Yugi whispered quickly and had turned to hop off the porch when the door opened.

"Hello? Who's there?" Bakura asked as he blindly stared in front of him.

At first sight, both Yami and Yugi screamed at the figure before them.

Bakura wore a white terry cloth robe and had a towel wrapped around his hair. A green face mask covered his skin. His eyes were hidden under cucumber slices, thus was the reason he could not see them.

"Yugi? Is that you?" Bakura asked. He removed the slices and blinked in the bright sunlight.

"Bakura! What the hell, man?!" Yugi gasped. "You look like something from the Black Lagoon!"

"Oh, don't be frightened. You just happened to catch me during my spa day. Come in,"

He stepped aside to let them in and they followed him into a small room that had aromatic candles lit. A bed sprinkled with rose pedals sat in the middle of the room and off to the side, soft music played from a surround sound system so the entire room was alive with, well, the sound of music.

"I was finishing up with my waxing when you knocked," Bakura told them. Both Yami and Yugi's faces melted in similar "ew" expressions.

Their British friend removed the towel over his head, letting down his long white hair. But it seemed as though he'd put himself in slow motion. His tresses fell like he was in a shampoo commercial, soft and luxurious. He shook his head back and forth and an unseen bright light made his hair shine radiantly. The boy ran his fingers through the mass, smiling to himself at an unseen pleasure.

As he continued to move in slow-mo, Yami walked up to him in normal speed and tapped him on his shoulder. "Um, you okay? It seems like your motor skills aren't working properly."

"Oh, don't worry about me. This always happens when I unwrap my hair, no reason to be concerned," Bakura told them as his hair continued to fall. Finally, it dangled around his shoulder and he seemed to speed up again. "Okay, so what did you come for?"

Yugi was about to begin his story when Bakura hopped up on the bed and lay down, clenching his eyes shut tight. A figure whom he hadn't noticed before stepped out of the shadows and came forth holding a long strip of paper and a container of steaming wax. The person looked identical to Bakura if you didn't notice the slight difference in their hair and the man's hardened features.

"Yami Bakura?" Yugi asked, an eyebrow raised. "Aren't you supposed to be in the Shadow Realm or something?"

"And aren't you supposed to shut the hell up?" the man shot back, stopping in front of the normal Bakura. "I'll be where I'm at when I'm there."

Yugi glanced at Yami who shrugged. He didn't get that last sentence either.

The evil Bakura spread the wax on Bakura's seemingly already hairless legs and applied the strip. In Japanese, he counted to three, then ripped the cloth away.

Bakura sat up and screamed in pain, swearing in several different languages with it.

_Well, that explains the scream I heard when I knocked, _Yugi thought. _Why can't he just grow the damn hair? I mean, isn't it kind of weird for a guy to wax? I thought the ladies loved the hair. _

"_On the contrary, Yugi,_" Yami thought back to him. _"Hair is seen as beastly and barbaric. Why, what would I, a great pharaoh, look like if I had hair all over my body, all of it showing because I often wear nothing more than a skirt and a cape? Even my concubines wouldn't touch me!"_

Bakura's screams subsided and he now lay on the table, panting heavily. "Beauty is pain," he whispered, putting the cucumbers back on his face. But Yami Bakura removed them, eating one as he wiped the mask off the boy's face.

After he caught his breath, Bakura sat back up and looked at the pointed hair pair. "So, now what brings you here?"

"Well, see, my grand—"

"No I don't want any chocolate pudding!" Bakura interrupted him. "I just had my face washed, are you trying to make me have a break out?"

"Um, excuse me?" Yugi asked him.

"Oh, I was speaking to the spirit that lives in my Ring. Now, what were you saying?"

"Uh, I was about to say that my grand—"

"My god, is it so hard for you to just bring me some tea and cake? I don't want anything else, and lord forbid if you bring me a _Sports Illustrated. _You know I'm too uncoordinated to do any sports and I couldn't care less for how many points LeBron James scored in his last game."

The evil spirit had seemed to only be calmly sitting in a chair on the shadowed side of the room, but at this last loud outburst, he stood up and walked out.

"I'm sorry Yugi, do forgive me. Where are my manners? You know, he's the reason for the chaos in this family. I'm sure you saw the house, yes? My half is the side with the pretty flowers. But he refused to do his side of the house, so now it's going to the dogs. I tell you, what's a Brit got to do to get good gardening around here?"

"Hire an illegal alien?" Yugi offered. Yami slowly turned his head to him in shock.

"Bad taste Yugi, very bad taste." He chastised.

Bakura sighed. "I just don't know what to do with him," he went on. "YB and I have tried to work things out, but no matter what, he's really the root of all my evils. Just the other day, he went after a sparrow, saying he wanted to bite its head off. He said he was inspired by Ozzie Osbourne. "

"Well, monitor what he watches," Yugi said. Yami gave him a thumbs up this time. "I mean, whenever I'm watching something that I don't want Yami to see, I send him to his spirit level. He always gets lost since his level is a maze, and while he tries to find his way out again, I can watch my program alone. "

"So that's why you've been sending me there so much lately!" Yami shouted at him. "You conniving bastard!"

The evil Bakura returned with a tray and a cup of tea with a small saucer holding a slice of cake on it. "Nothing for you two," he growled out at the others as he sat the tray on Bakura's lap.

"You've probably poisoned the food anyways," Yami scoffed.

Bakura had been just about to take a sip of tea when this idea struck him and he stopped the cup in midair.

"Oh, you think you're such a big shot, don't you Pharaoh?" Yami Bakura sneered.

"Well, why yes I do. I am a pharaoh after all."

"Fine, let's solve this the way all grown men solve their problems. By playing a children's trading card game. And yes, I've borrowed that phrase from LK, but he had a very good point with it."

"Fine, let's duel then!" Yami shouted dramatically.

"Wait!" Bakura shouted. "Tabletop duels aren't the answer." He got off the bed and left the room. While they waited, Yugi hummed the Jeopardy theme song.

A moment later, Bakura returned with a rectangular shaped package. "This should do it." He ripped open the package. Inside were two holographic dueling disks.

"I found these in the very back of the closet, a place where I'm sexually stuck at. I'm guessing it's a very early Christmas present. Either that, or my parents duel and they've never told me." He handed the disks to the spirits and they loaded their cards into the holder.

"Duel!" the shouted simultaneously. And simultaneously, Bakura and Yugi rolled their eyes.

Evil Bakura played first. He kept the card face down and turned the duel over to Yami. "Your turn."

"Now it's my turn," Yami said.

"No shit it's your turn. When I was finished, I said 'Your turn.' Are you deaf or are you always this dramatic?" Evil Bakura asked.

Yami didn't answer. "I play the almighty Kuriboh! Yes, I'm aware that he's weak and pathetic and no, I have no intentions of duplicating his balls! Kuriboh, attack his face down card!"

The face down card happened to be a black hole of some sort. But the realistic graphics not only sucked in Yami's monster, but objects in the house as well. The spa bed and stereo system were absorbed into its depths as were half the living room and kitchen appliances. What finally stopped it was the 54-inch plasma screen TV. The screen still cracked though.

Before anymore damage could be done, Yami Bakura pulled his duel disk back up to his arm, making the hole vanish. And everything that was in it.

"Holy shit on rye bread!" Bakura screamed. "The house! Oh no, mum and dad are going to give me the whispering of a lifetime! And they'll probably make me clean the loo! My lack of a social life is over!"

Yugi and Yami exchanged quiet glances and as the boy continued to fret over his future—losing such commodities as blood pudding and his daily games of cricket—the other two inched out the room and through the front door.

"I kind of feel bad for Bakura," Yugi said to Yami on the street.

"I don't. He should control that damn spirit of his better. Pesky spirits."

Yugi narrowed his eyes at him, but said nothing.

"So, where to now?" Yami asked, not catching the look.

"Hm, well, the last helpful person I can think of is Téa. If she can't help me, then no one can."

"You still have me, you know." Yami reminded him.

"Uh-huh. I have you like Brittany Spears has Kevin Federline."

"God, I love it when you talk about pop culture," Yami smiled.

Yugi shrugged. "Eh, what's _E! _for if not to make fun of celebs? That's the world we live in Yami. We make fun of the rich folks while dying to be one ourselves. I wonder when they're gonna run a program about Kaiba?"

"I don't know, but when they do, you can bet I'm going to be there front and center." Yami said, rubbing his hands together in glee at the thought.

Yugi only shook his head. Maybe Téa could help Yami also. Like another date between the two…but the thought of Yami going on a date with her for some reason infuriated him. Maybe it was because he knew she was attracted to Yami and not him…ouch.

He pushed this thought to the back of his mind and vowed never to bring it up again. Unless Yami went out with her. Then he'd knock his socks off. Though considering that Yami never wore any that, was going to be a hard feat to accomplish. God, so that's the reason Yami's feet smelled so atrocious!

_Note to self, get some fast actin' Tanactin. _

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Ah, I love it when a chapter comes together! Okay, now hit that button below this...the new one that they've just installed. I wanna hear your thoughs folks so I know if I'm going a good job on this!


	5. Infectious Characters

Okay, here lately I've been having some creative issues. Though it's generally nothing to worry about, I'm truly afraid that with me being in the middle of another, and bigger story and the fact that I'm on the verge of starting a new one (yeah, three folks!) I was worried that my muse for this story had dried up and shriveled so that I'd never want to finish it! But I refuse to become a writer with unfinished business! So, pushing past my adversity, I have produced…this! Hope you like it. I tried.

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Infectious Characters

Though they left Bakura's house with the full intention of going to Téa's, somehow or another, Yugi and Yami ended up getting sidetracked by other things…well, actually, it was all Yami's fault. Or so Yugi would say.

As they passed the various stores along the street, the two held a silent conversation in Yugi's head…yeah…the kid's schizo.

Suddenly, Yami broke free of Yugi's body and stood in front of a large building. A mischievous grin played at his lips. "Let's go in," he told Yugi.

"What? Yami…this is…Kaibaland! To hell if I'm ever going in _there! _Even if they do have state of the art dueling fields…" Yugi huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his head away in disdain. Though he couldn't help but peek open an eye at the huge structure before them.

"I'm the real one that does all your duels, _I _should be the one offended to go in!" Yami said. And before Yugi could stop him, he strode up to the doors and went inside

Yami whipped his head around quickly, trying to take in all of the sites at one time. "Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man! Check out this technology! It's a duelist's paradise! Wow, they even have a trading card shop here that makes your grandpa's shop look like a New York kiosk!"

"You know what? Screw you!" Yugi shot at him and stormed off to an adjoining room.

This room was filled with small tables that were crowded with other people. On the far end of the room was a food bar, buffet style. Another door led off of this one, but it was a restricted area.

"Eh, what's a little snooping around gonna do?" Yugi muttered to himself and set off for the door. When the coast looked clear, he cracked it open and squeezed himself through to the other side.

And was met by the sight of Kaiba and Mokuba talking quietly at another table in the room. Yugi sat down at a table far off in the shadows so that they wouldn't notice him.

"Mokuba, we're going to have to make some cut-backs," Kaiba was saying with a heavy voice. "The company's not doing so well right now…frickin' quarterly shifts and all…anyways, that means some of the things we have are going to have to stop either temporarily or maybe even permanently."

"But big brother, I don't understand! Business is booming! I mean, look at this place, it's crawling with duelists!"

"Yes Mokuba, _this _place is going alright. But other places…not so well. Kaibaland USA had a 40 percent fall in sales this year alone. I guess not many people in America believe in the power of playing a children's trading card game…they're satisfied with Pokemon…god I hate that game!"

Mokuba had been reaching in his pocket for something until Kaiba said this. The boy's hand stopped but Kaiba caught the movement.

"Mokuba, turn out your pockets," he commanded.

"Um, big brother, I—"

"Turn them out!"

Reluctantly, Mokuba slowly revealed what he was holding. A Pokemon deck…mixed with cards as far back as the first season.

"What…what is this?!" Kaiba asked, aghast.

"I can explain!" Mokuba pleaded.

"Screw your explanation, I want answers! What. Are. You. Doing. With. Pokemon. Cards?"

"I-I…I couldn't help it, Seto!" Mokuba wailed. "They're just too cute and like the song says, you gotta catch them all. It started with me just trading some lame Duel Monsters card for a Pikachu and then…oh god, I was hooked! I had to have more! I wanted a deck! I wanted to battle anyone that stood in my way! I mean, you have your DM cards and victories, but what did I have? Nothing! Can't you see? I wanted something to call my own! I wanted opponents to crumble beneath me and tremble in my presence!"

Kaiba sat back in silence for a moment, then said in an awed voice, "Mokuba, I believe you've gone mad with power."

Mokuba shrugged. "Of course I have, have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring, no one listens to you."

Here, Yugi finally stood up to reveal himself. "Both of you are starking mad. Kaiba, what exactly does this cut-back you've mentioned entail for you? What, no more joy rides in the H3? The Blue-Eyes jet has to sit in the hangar for more than a week? No more five-thousand yen dinners at your favorite metropolitan bistro? Come on, give me a break!"

"It's none of your damn business Yugi," Kaiba snarled at him.

"Well, well, well, how the mighty have fallen," Yugi said in something close to a sneer. It kind of scared him…he was sounding as coarse as Yami could be.

With a loud growl, Kaiba launched himself at Yugi…who, for all his talk, threw his arms up to cover his face.

_Oh god, not my baby soft face! It's much too childish and kawaii! _

But at that moment, a door at the back of the room (there seems to be a lot of those here, huh?) opened up and a man with tall brown hair shaped roughly like an anvil stepped out.

"Attention duelists! Your lobster bisque will now be served!"

Kaiba stopped in his tracks and turned to him. "What the hell did I say about using that phrase? You don't work for Pegasus anymore! You're supposed to say 'Attention Grand Master Kaiba of the Duelists!'"

"But sir—"

Mokuba got up from his seat and stood in front of the man. In a quick movement with his fingers, he motioned the man to lean down to his face. Then he drew back his hand and slapped him. "Don't ever question Seto! He is always right!"

Yugi took that time to make his escape. He went back through the food court and allowed himself to get swooped up in a crowd of tourists.

_Well, I guess everyone's having a lousy day today…Ha, Kaiba's finally getting his just deserts! Tastes like sweep potato pie…mmm…pie…_

He started moving around the building trying to find Yami. _Enough time has passed to where I'm not so pissed at him anymore. It's time we kiss and make-up. I mean, make up! No kiss…ugh…damn fanficts. _

He searched all over the place, and finally found his spirit in a dueling arena room. The duelists were just finishing up as Yugi walked in.

"Now that I have your monster trapped in my Swords of Revealing Light, I can destroy them with my Red Eyes Black Dragon that I "borrowed" from my friend Joey! Red Eyes, attack his pathetic little Winged-Kuriboh!"

With a loud roar, the monster fired off a red lighting attack, destroying the small furball within seconds.

The other duelist crumbled to the floor. Another boy with bluish hair and glasses ran up to him. "Jaden! Are you alright? I mean, it's just one duel…you'll be okay, won't you?"

The other boy, Jaden, sat up slowly. "Syrus, that's a lot easier said…I've never lost a duel, never! Oh god, how am I ever going to live this down?! Those stupid blue Obelisks as the academy are gonna give me hell about this!"

Yami hopped down from his spot and casually strode over to the boy. "A win is a win and a promise is a promise. You owe me a card…and I choose…that Winged-Kuriboh."

"Wh-what?!" Jaden gasped. "But that's not even my strongest card, why would you want that?"

Yami gave a smirk that was border-line evil. "Because, you hold it so dear to you that taking it would mean more to you than if I took your strongest card. I'm quite sure that even a weak duelist as yourself has figured out that it's not always the strong cards that win a duel."

Without waiting for the boy to reply, Yami snatched the card up from the floor where the other had let them fall. Turning on his heel, he left out the room, Yugi scurrying behind him.

"Wow Yami…that was…kinda cruel…that card meant something to him, did you have to take it from him like that?"

"That was him…the one that's to replace you in the future." Yami said simply.

"Oh. Well then on that note, I should duel him and hit 'em up for all he's worth!" Yugi said with malice.

Yami smirked again. "You've been hanging out with me too much."

"Actually, I'm thinking more like Kaiba would, but yeah, you also seem to be going through this act-like-a-total-bastard phase too."

They left Kaibaland and on the way out, Yami ripped up Jaden's card and threw it in a trash can.

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Man, don't I have Yami acting totally weird here! But like I said, this is the product from my lack of an imagination. I'm gonna be finishing this story shortly, probably within the next two chapters…yeah, I believe I'm losing my thread with this one, what with me so eager to start my new story. Anyways, leave a comment please. I still want to hear your thoughts!


	6. Citizen Censorship

Alright, here it is, the last chapter! I wasn't too sure on how I wanted the ending for this to go, so in the style of many of my chapters here, it's a bit round-about. But I don't think it finished too badly. I'll let you be the judge of that. And I might as well warn you…I once again borrowed a few of LK's ideas here. But I don't think he'll mind too much ^_^! Read it, like it, love it, and for the love of Ra (see, more LK there!) please review it!

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Citizen Censorship

After seemingly endless tries to find a bit of emotional comfort from his other friends, Yugi finally reached Téa's house. It was a simple, yet beautiful structure, painted yellow and surrounded by a freshly cut green lawn.

Yugi gulped loudly as he stopped on the sidewalk outside of her house. "Well?" Yami asked beside him. He was getting more and more comfortable with not being within the boy all the time…wait a minute…something about that didn't sound right…oh gods!!

Yugi looked over at the spirit for a moment, then lowered his eyes. "It's just that…well, though Téa is my friend, sometimes she has this way of going on and on about being friends. I mean, I cherish friendship, I really do. I've told you what my life was like before I met Joey and Tristan and Téa, haven't I?"

Yami gave a quick smirk that soon turned to a bark of laughter. "Hell yeah you have! Man, and I thought me wandering around for millennia inside the Puzzle was pathetic! You used to be lower on the social ladder than Rex and Weevil!"

Yugi frowned and narrowed his eyes at him. "You're supposed to be sympathetic for me. I thought you were my friend."

"Eh, I am. Nobody else could ever stand you and your overly-emotional self as long as I have. I'm here with you buddy until the end." Yami gave him a bright grin and a thumbs-up sign.

Yugi gave him a kiddish grin right back, eyes sparkling with joy and admiration. "Yami…that's so…_sniff_… so…LAME!" He shouted, doubling over in laughter. "'I'm with you till the end!' Great way to go for the Oscar but you didn't quite nail it."

Yami growled and grabbed his jacket. Ignoring Yugi's protests, he dragged the boy up the walkway to Téa's front door. With his other free hand, he pounded on the metal surface until he heard movement on the other side.

"No…stop…I said stop! Not now, I know you heard the door knock as well? Just give me one moment."

A few locks clicked and the door was opened just a crack, the chain still in place to keep anyone who might want to enter at bay.

"Yes?" Téa asked. Yugi could have sworn she sounded a bit impatient, though he might have just imagined that.

"Um, can I talk to you?" The boy asked sheepishly. Téa always had a way of making his heart flutter.

"If it's about dueling, Yugi, I don't want to hear it," she said sharply, making Yugi wince.

"No, no, it's not about dueling…it's just that…can I come in?"

The girl gave a heavy sigh. "No, not right now. I'm busy. Can you hurry this up?"

Yami's eyes squinted at her, then pushed Yugi aside. Before Téa could stop him, he shoved the door open further. Téa was standing in nothing but her undergarments. Behind her in the living room, Duke Develin could be seen sitting shirtless in a chair, bound and gagged.

Yugi looked at her, then at him, then back at her. He gave a few quick pants, not being able to breathe. Finally, words managed to reach his lungs.

"What the fuck is _this?! _Téa, Duke? _Duke Develin? _Oh no…oh hell no…"

He walked away from the scene shaking his head furiously. Then, in a sudden burst of rage, he whipped around and was about to storm in the house when Yami grabbed him from around his waist, holding him up to where his feet ran uselessly in the air.

"You whore! Filth of Japan! You're just dating him because you think he's cute! Looks fade Téa! You spend more of your life looking old than you do looking twenty! But true love never fades with age! Why can't you date me?!"

Téa blinked at him, sighed, glanced over to Duke who was mumbling muffled gibberish, then looked back at Yugi. "Because you're with Yami. _All the time._"

Yugi gave another furious growl. "Damnit , we're not talking about the fanficts here! I'm datable! I mean, if there has ever been a couple on this frickin' show about my life, it's you and me! So why can't you stick to the script and flirt with me?"

Téa shot him a glare. "Flirt? Whoa, never have I flirted with you! Yami, yes, plenty of times. You? Ugh, never!"

Silently, Yami curled his fist up and brought it down to his side in a victory gesture. "Oh yeah, the phresh pharaoh always get's the girl! Gigiddy, gigiddy, gigiddy!"

Yugi stood with his head bowed, eyes shadowed. "So…you really mean all of that? You really have no feelings for me?"

Téa rolled her eyes and tightened her jaw, a look of slight remorse coming over her. "It's not you, Yugi. It's me…what can I say? I like 'em tall, dark and handsome. Not…short, vibrant and…childish."

Yugi pursed his lips, then muttered. "Curse me for having the Curse of the Moto's…short stature and tri-colored pointy hair! And…chibi-like amethyst eyes…"

Téa nodded at him. Then she bent down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "We can be friends, okay? Remember that friendship sign I drew on the back of our hands that day Kaiba dueled your grandfather into submission? The day Yami came into your life? The day I started my period—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! TMI, Téa!" Yugi shouted, pulling away from her.

"Well, that day. That friendship sign I drew was for just that, to show our _friendship._ Nothing more. Go out and find someone that truly deserves your affections Yugi. You're a great guy and you deserve to have someone great in your life."

Yami's eyes widened hopefully.

"And since Yami is just a spirit, don't try to make it him," Téa added, as she softly shut the door in his face.

Yami's shoulders sagged. In an indignant huff, he jumped off the porch and moodily walked away. Yugi caught up to him and gently nudged him with his shoulder.

"Hey, trying to do that reverse psychology thing isn't going to work on the girls," Yugi told him.

"Huh?" Yami asked, thoroughly confused.

"You know, acting like you like another boy so the girls start drooling over you. I think that only works with two girls trying to get the attention of a guy. But anyways, at least I can rest easy knowing that I don't have to try to impress Téa now. I'll wait until you leave the picture so that way girls won't think about you instead of me."

"You'll be waiting for quite awhile Yuges. I'm not going anywhere for a looong time." Yami smirked evilly at him and Yugi sweatdropped at what was in store for the future for them.

After awhile of walking in silence, Yugi spoke up again. "I still haven't been able to tell anyone about grandpa leaving me. I guess no one cares."

"I do Yugi," someone said from beside where they were walking.

Both heads shot up and looked around. Outside of a pizzeria, Tristan was wolfing down an extra large sausage pizza by himself. Around the food in his mouth he said, "Sit, talk, spill your guts."

So, he sat, he talked, and he spilled his guts out. To Tristan Taylor. The class idiot. Oh, how a mighty duelist has fallen…

When he was done, Tristan gave a final mighty swallow of the food. "Ah, that's nothing to worry about. Except you, nobody here has parents! So since time has been taken out to actually provide you with an authoritive figure, it's not all going to be a waste. He'll come back soon enough. With all the dueling you'll be doing, time will fly right by! He'll be back home before you know it…or you'll mysteriously get plane tickets to India where you'll find him in some woods with a bunch of monsters hidden in capsules that you have to catch and train like Pokémon…but that's another series that I'll explain later. Go home, Yugi. Gramps will return, I'm sure of it."

Yugi gave a traditional bow and left the boy as he ordered yet another extra large pizza.

"Dudes…you just got advice from Tristan," Yami said to him. "Since when the hell did he get so smart?!"

"Tristan's stupidity is only there because 4Kids made him act that way, lest he be taken out of the show entirely. The real Tristan was too violent for the age group that they were trying to target. Same with Joey, and even you, to a certain extent."

"What? Damn them! They can toy with my outfits, they can toy with my friends, they can even make toys of me! But when you mess with my personality…that makes me feel a rage of the Egyptian variety!"

Yugi gave him a cautious glance and moved a few spaces away from him as they continued to head home.

When Yugi unlocked the door to the apartment above the shop, he noticed a large rucksack on the floor. Slouched on the couch with a can of Budweiser in his hands was Solomon Moto.

Forgetting that he was a fifteen year-old boy, Yugi rushed to him, looking more like a child than ever. In his excitement, he jumped on his grandfather, knocking the wind out of the old man.

"I'm so glad you're home! Man, do I have a story to tell you! But…what happened? It hasn't even been a day! Hell, not even three hours!"

Solomon sighed and pushed Yugi away onto another couch cushion. "It seems like duel disks are something that can't be taken into the passenger seating area on planes. Oh sure, they'll let you bring laptops and portable DVD players. But when it comes down to the tools of a duelist, those damn flight attendants just don't understand."

"Grandpa, you use a duel disk? I thought you were set in your ways and refused to do anything else but tabletop duels."

"Huh? Am I? Oh yes, that's right, now that you mention it, that is my nature…so, wait a minute. What happened? Oh no…damn them!!"

"What is it?" Yugi asked with alarm.

"4Kids, that's what! They changed my character without my permission!"

"Oh no, not you too?" Yugi sighed and shook his head. "Let it go Grandpa. They hold all the best cards in this duel and even more so, they know how to play them right. I'm just happy that you're home."

His grandfather ruffled his hair and smiled. "Actually, it's kind of nice to be home too," he said.

"Oh, please, would the both of you shut up! I'm trying to watch _Mama Mia!" _Yami shouted at them.

And with that said, all three of them turned their attention to the TV to be sucked into sappy musicals, happily provided by 4Kids.

* * *

Yay, this is done! I wanted to finish before Christmas and I've done just that! I'll admit that because I didn't plan out the entire story as I had said I would in the first chapter, this story didn't come out as great as I had wanted it to. But, I'm a random person, so planning just isn't my thing (this only goes for my writing. Everything else, it's good to use some strategy!). Tomorrow I hope to post the last chapter of my Harry Potter story, check it out if you're into the series. And after that, I plan (ha-ha…there goes that "p" word again) to start my first Naruto fict…I have the first chapter all set to go.

Anyways, I thank those of you who reviewed. And even if you didn't, I'm still happy that you took the time to read this very long, senseless drabble. Till I write again, hasta luego!

--The Lovely Lady A

(A.D. Williams/Fluffymiyster)


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